06th Nov 2008
Are your letters like a damp squib
We know words have power. What we write… how we write it can deliver a strong message and have a stunning effect on our target audience or it can be like a damp squib and fizzle out… leaving them cold.
I was reminded of this by a newsletter I received last week from Guillermo Rubio of AWAI. He described an article in which a Mother had decided she didn’t want her daughter to hear the word ‘brainstorm’ because of the word’s violent connotations. Instead she insisted on using the term ‘thought shower’.
Somehow I don’t think that’s going to get her daughter fired up enough to generate many excitingly creative ideas.
Guillermo went on to say using emotionally charged words is more likely to connect with our reader; maybe jolt him out of complacency or inaction. And sometimes that is what we need to do - for our reader’s benefit.
Of course - this is where our British Reserve can stultify our message if we are not careful… we don’t want to alarm people but at the same time we owe it to our prospects, as well as ourselves, to break through the mundane and write with excitement and a passion that generates an emotional response. Remember - it’s our emotions that make us buy, then we use logic to justify that decision.
Guillermo suggested alternatives to some of the words you might find in your sales copy…
Replace Drop with Plummet, Crash, Crater or Nose-Dive
Or how about Shock instead of Surprise or maybe Slice instead of Lower or Reduce?
Scan your sales message. Are you using vibrant words - especially verbs - to trigger emotions, paint a vivid picture and hopefully, catapult your reader into action?
Check your thesaurus, is there a more inspiring word you can use to explode your message into your prospect’s mind?
I’ve added to the suggestions Guillermo offered. Grab this PDF now - feast your eyes on the alternatives for some commonly used ‘damp-squib’ words and energise your sales letter into a compelling missive.
~ Carol Bentley
P.S. You’re welcome to pass the list onto other sales letter writers.
Hi Carol
Some years ago I was slapped on the wrist for ‘daring to use’ the word brainstorm! According to a BNI colleague that word discriminated persons with a brain-damage. Oh well, what’s in a word?
But you’re right about using emotional words: it paints a better picture for your reader. (So now every time I hear the word brainstorm I can’t stop thinking about all those people who are labeled not being able to think creative - as if!)
Karin H. (Keep It Simple Sweetheart, specially in business)
Brilliant list Carol, thanks
Hi Carol,
Great list - thank you!
One little tip you might like to pass on to your blog readers on this subject:
When you’re writing/composing your sales letters etc in ‘Word’, and you want to look for a more emotional word, if you highlight the word you want to replace, hold down the ‘Shift’ key and press ‘F7′, it brings up a theasaurus for you.
I use it quite often and although it doesn’t have all the words you show in your list, it does have a few that you don’t. For example, I typed in the word ‘impress’ and it gave me ‘electrify’ as well as a few others.
I hope this is useful!
Gail
Karin H.
that’s a new spin on the word ‘brainstorm’ I’ve not come across before. The word makes me think of an electric storm with strong winds - and that’s what brainstorming with other people (in my opinion) generates… electrifying ideas.
Happy to help Nigel,
Gail -
thanks for the suggestion - I should have thought of that myself, especially as I do occasionally have a quick look.
BTW - you don’t need to select the word first, just make sure the cursor is in or at the end of the word and the Shift + F7 works fine.
So you can type the word you were thinking of and press Shift+F7 immediately to display the alternative suggestions.
On another note - Gail & Nigel you should have received your signed, first edition of the new book. Please let me know if it hasn’t arrived. Thanks
~ Carol
Thanks for sharing this list. I’m going to take a look at our sales letters and will decimate, expunge, slash, and liquidate all wimpy words.
Hi Janine,
I can see you’re definitely getting into the spirit of this post.
Good luck.
~ Carol